There have been so many times in my life when I decided, Okay, this is it. This is the time I’m finally going to get it together. I was going to lose the weight, follow the routine, drink the water, exercise consistently, take all my vitamins, keep my house organized, do my skincare every night, and somehow become an entirely different woman by Monday morning.
And then life happened.
I missed the workout.
I ate something I hadn’t planned to eat.
I stayed up too late.
I stopped following the routine.
And suddenly, something that was supposed to help me feel better became another area of my life where I felt like I was failing.
If you’ve ever felt that way too, I want to talk about it.
Because I still love wellness. I love learning about my body. I love taking walks, finding products that make me feel good, learning about nutrition, caring for my skin, and figuring out little things I can do today that might help me feel better tomorrow.
What I’m learning, though, is that wellness should support my life—not become another standard I’m constantly failing to meet.
I Have Started Over More Times Than I Can Count
I wish I could tell you that I decided to become healthier one day, followed my plan perfectly, and never looked back.
Absolutely not.
I have failed so many weight-loss journeys.
I’ve lost weight, gained weight, started over, gotten motivated, lost motivation, created routines, abandoned routines, downloaded apps, made plans, promised myself this time will be different, and then found myself having the exact same conversation with myself months later.
For a long time, I interpreted that as evidence that I lacked discipline.
Now I’m starting to question that.
Maybe starting over isn’t always evidence that you’ve failed.
Maybe sometimes it’s evidence that you haven’t given up.
Because underneath all of those abandoned routines has been one thing that has remained surprisingly consistent:
I want a better life for myself.
That part hasn’t changed.
The method changes. My circumstances change. My energy changes. What I’m capable of giving changes.
But the desire to take better care of myself is still here.
And I’m learning to give that more credit.
Social Media Can Make Wellness Look Like a Full-Time Job
Open TikTok and spend ten minutes in the wellness world.
Suddenly you apparently need to wake up at 5:00 a.m., meditate, journal, drink lemon water, take seventeen supplements, hit 10,000 steps, strength train, eat 130 grams of protein, meal prep everything you’ve ever eaten, dry brush, gua sha, maintain a twelve-step skincare routine, never consume sugar, regulate your nervous system, and be asleep by 9:00 p.m.
Oh—and don’t forget to be grateful.
I’m exhausted just writing that.
There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with individual wellness habits. Many of them can be wonderful.
The problem comes when taking care of yourself turns into an endless checklist.
Because eventually you aren’t asking:
What would make me feel better today?
You’re asking:
Why can’t I keep up with everybody else?
Those are two very different versions of wellness.
Routines Are Really Hard for Me
This is something I’m learning to admit without turning it into a character flaw.
I love routines in theory.
I love planning them.
I love imagining myself doing them.
Following the exact same beautiful routine every single day?
That’s where things get interesting.
I’ve promised myself so many things over the years.
Tomorrow I’m waking up early.
I’m exercising every day this week.
I’m never skipping my nighttime routine again.
I’m going to meal prep every Sunday.
And sometimes I do those things.
Sometimes I don’t.
I’m starting to understand that maybe I don’t need another complicated routine. Maybe I need a handful of things that are easy enough to return to.
One of those things for me has been walking.
A walk doesn’t require me to become a completely different person. I can put on my shoes and go outside. Twenty minutes counts. Thirty minutes counts. A slower walk counts.
And something about being outside, moving my body, and getting away from screens for a little while genuinely makes me feel better.
If you’re trying to make walking one of your easier wellness habits too, a simple reusable water bottle can make it easier to grab your water and go. This one is amazing and would be an easy addition to a work bag or daily walking routine.
Not revolutionary.
Not glamorous.
Just useful.
I’m learning that I need more wellness habits like that.
You Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Take Care of Yourself
This is something I’m still working on.
I think sometimes we treat wellness as punishment for what we don’t like about ourselves.
We exercise because we hate our bodies.
We restrict ourselves because the scale went up.
We create impossible routines because we think the current version of us isn’t disciplined enough.
Then when we can’t maintain those routines, we use that as additional evidence against ourselves.
What if taking care of ourselves didn’t have to start with disappointment?
I can want to lose weight and still appreciate my body today.
I can want to become stronger without hating myself for not already being strong.
I can want better habits while acknowledging that the habits I have now developed within a real life filled with responsibilities, stress, work, motherhood, exhaustion, joy, setbacks, and everything in between.
Those things can exist together.
Maybe Wellness Needs a Minimum Version
This idea has been changing the way I think about routines.
Instead of asking, What’s my perfect routine?
I’m trying to ask:
What’s the version I can still do when life isn’t perfect?
Maybe your ideal workout is 45 minutes.
Your minimum might be a 15-minute walk.
Maybe your ideal nighttime routine includes a shower, skincare, stretching, reading, preparing tomorrow’s clothes, and going to bed early.
Your minimum might be brushing your teeth, washing your face, putting on moisturizer, and getting into bed.
That still counts.
For skincare, I love the idea of having one dependable moisturizer you can reach for even when you don’t have the energy for an elaborate routine. This is my personal favorite because sometimes I need my routine to be ridiculously simple.
There will be seasons when we can do more.
There will also be seasons when maintaining the basics is an accomplishment.
I don’t think wellness should disappear just because we can’t perform the ideal version of it.
You Are Allowed to Learn Yourself
Every day seems to teach me something new about my own capacity.
And my boundaries.
And my habits.
And the things I thought would work for me but absolutely do not.
I’ve learned that I enjoy walking more than forcing myself through exercise I hate.
I’ve learned that buying something doesn’t magically create a habit.
I’ve learned that motivation is wonderful when it shows up, but I can’t build my entire life around waiting for it.
I’ve learned that sometimes I need structure.
I’ve also learned that sometimes the structure I’ve created is the exact thing making me want to quit.
And I’m sure I’ll learn something tomorrow that makes me rethink something I believe today.
That’s okay.
We’re allowed to adjust.
We’re allowed to say, I tried this and it doesn’t work for me.
We’re allowed to make things easier.
We’re allowed to start again.
That’s not inconsistency. That’s information.
Wellness Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive Either
This is another place where social media can make things unnecessarily complicated.
You don’t need a completely new identity—and a matching shopping cart—to start caring for yourself.
Some of the things that make me feel the best cost little or nothing: going for a walk, sitting outside in the sun for a little while, cleaning up my space, drinking something cold, taking a shower, getting enough sleep, putting my phone down, stretching, or watching something comforting after a long day.
Products can make routines easier or more enjoyable. I obviously love finding things that do.
But the product isn’t the wellness.
One thing I do find genuinely useful is having a simple planner or habit tracker where I can see what I’m actually doing without trying to keep everything in my head. This one is amazing if you want something simple for tracking walks, water, appointments, routines, or a few personal goals.
The planner doesn’t create the habit.
It just supports it.
That’s an important distinction.
I Don’t Want to Spend My Life Starting Over
I used to think the answer was finding the perfect plan.
Now I think the answer might be learning how to continue imperfectly.
Because I know myself.
There will probably be another week when I don’t walk as much as I planned.
There will be another night when I don’t do the whole routine.
There will probably be another goal that takes me longer than I expected.
I will second-guess myself again.
I will change my mind.
I will learn another boundary.
I will discover another thing I’m capable of.
But I don’t want every imperfect day to require a dramatic Monday morning restart.
I want to be able to wake up the next morning and simply continue.
No punishment.
No declaration that I’ve ruined everything.
No waiting until next week.
Just:
Okay. What can I do today?
My Commitment Isn’t to Perfection
If I look at every routine I’ve abandoned, every weight-loss attempt that didn’t end the way I wanted it to, and every promise I’ve made to myself and broken, I could build a pretty convincing case that I’m bad at this.
But that wouldn’t tell the whole story.
Because I’m still here.
Still learning.
Still walking.
Still trying things.
Still figuring out what makes me feel good.
Still wanting to take care of myself.
Still imagining a healthier, happier, fuller life.
Maybe my greatest consistency has never been following the perfect routine.
Maybe it’s that I keep coming back to myself.
And right now, that’s enough for me.
Wellness doesn’t have to be another test we’re constantly taking and failing. It can simply be the collection of choices—sometimes big, usually very small—that help us care for the lives and bodies we already have.
And tomorrow?
We get another opportunity to learn ourselves again.
If you’re also trying to make everyday life feel a little easier instead of adding more pressure to it, read my Ultimate Work Bag Essentials Checklist for Busy Women next. It’s filled with practical things you can keep with you to make busy workdays feel a little more organized and manageable—because sometimes taking care of yourself really can be as simple as making tomorrow a little easier than today.
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